accountability

You all have to keep me accountable, if anyone reads this, set up an account really quickly (it's free), and join as a follower, then you can make comments and we can have discussions about Religion & Spirituality, which is what I really wanted to do in the first place. Your comment can be as long as you want, just send me your thoughts....

So, it's been a month since I last wrote in here... so far I have gone to one church service, it was interesting and I think I will go again. I don't want to go because I feel like I "have to", but rather, the speaker really made me ponder some interesting questions about life. I enjoy having my mind opened up to other possibilities and I like the feeling of being intrigued and also (call me crazy) but I enjoy feeling uncomfortable about what a speaker is saying because it opens up a debate in my mind. However the service was not spiritually enlightening as I had hoped it would be.. hopefully I will discover a place of spirituality that awakens my soul!

I am still feeling disconnected from my childhood faith, I still have no answers, and as each month goes by I feel more distant. For example, in my science class last week we were discussing allele frequencies and genotypes. I understand that when two people who are genetically similar breed they produce less viable offspring...basicaly the concept was "inbreeding does not produce a population that can survive due to the limited genetic variability. This is a proven concept in science, just ask any geek you know... :-) But that made me think, according to this fact, it is not possible for 5 billion people to come from two people. If Adam and Eve had reproduced and their children reproduced with each other, their genotypes would have been so similar that their children would not have survived for long or would not have produced viable, fertile offspring...the same thing happens when you inbreed purebred dogs. So you see, it's the little "ah ha" moments like these that really make me feel less and less inclined to believe in the Bible. yesterday I went to the museum and checked out the Body Worlds Exhibit. It was AWESOME. That got me to thinking....on the other hand, how could something as intricate as the human capillary system in the brain be the result of natural selection, there MUST be a master plan and a design to this. I encourage my readers to go check out this exhibit and ask yourself if we could really be the product of years of evolution. And although I believe we do evolve and have evolved over history, I don't think it's possible that we became who we are purely from evolution, I can't explain it in words, but we are just too intricate and delicate, and there is this undercurrent in society that there is something MORE, something that we do not fully understand no matter how much religion tries to dictate it to us.

So what I am saying is , I don't know what I am saying. This is a place for a scattering of my thoughts and everyday I have some internal struggle that says "there's no way the Bible could be true, just look at this fact..." and another struggle that says "...this is not possible without God, science can't even explain this acccurately.." so I don't know, but I am going to really try to focus on going to some places of worship this summer (not necessarily all churches) so that I can come to some clarity and peace of mind about this all.

Let me leave with this quote:

Faith is an oasis in the heart which will never be reached by the caravan of thinking
--Kahlil Gibran

TTFN